Thursday, 17 November 2011

Nice Day....

I had a lovely day today with my hubby.  We went to Cafe Rouge for lunch thanks to Tescos points. About a week ago I exchanged my £7.50 on my clubcard for £30.00 worth of Cafe Rouge vouchers. We had a really tasty lunch. You have to pay for drinks we just had 2 diet cokes.  I guess we could have just asked for tap water.  So it was a frugal meal it came to about £6.00. We used two £10.00 Cafe rouge vouchers & saved a £10.00 one for another time as they do breakfast. We both said how lovely it was to just be......normal!
      It been a funny time & I am very fragile. I guess somewhat depressed to. I know this as I feel quite negative & have been sort of cannot be bothered with anything. Lacked motivation & can cry at the drop of a pin. As well as feeling tired & nervy.
      I met the social worker yesterday by myself.  I found it hard not to cry on & off through the meeting.  I told her i could not take anymore stress.  The plan is that come December she wants me/us to have some some contact with my daughter.  I guess 4 years of stress have finally caught up with me as I cannot face to see her. The social worker told me she has gone & got another tatoo on her back. It does upset me. There is one on her wrist & one on the hip bone area to. I have no tattoos & I just know she will regret it one day. Especially worrying that they are not professional ones either. The two that I have seen (I never knew till after the event)look like someone has taken a black marker pen and drawn on herself. Thats not to mention who is doing the tatoos?. I hope they follow health & safety.
Apparantly she has come in at the foster house in the middle of the day smelling of alchol a few times.  The social worker mentioned Ocd & how everything my daughter does is quite outrageous & aimed at getting attention from all different directions.  She has told the social worker she wants a baby.  The foster lady is going to take her to a mother & baby unit at some point.  To show her the reality.    The social worker does agree that usually what my daughter fixates herself on she normally does do.  I know the social worker knows that my daughter is safest with us.    I feel that I have to think of us all here.  Of course I love her & I hate to think of her coming to harm. But with the different risk taking behaviour it does come to mind that she will come to harm.
   I am going to get me better & stronger and take each day as it comes.
Now hopefully I will get round your blogs this weekend & catch up with all your lovely blogs, that cheer me up & give me other things to think about x x x   


  1. Glad you and hubby had a little you time, it should make you feel a little better.

    X x

  2. Good deal on the restaurant.

    And sorry about your daughter troubles still.

  3. How nice for you to go out for awhile..It is probably not the right thing for me to say..and..if in your position I really sdon't know what I would do..but...I think you need to put yourself first,if you are not up to all this meeting don't do it yet..if your daughter is not caring about anyone and you can't win either way,you may as well just get yourself better.It is so draining and the tattoo thing..well it is her regret,you did all you could do..bless you as you face each day..and know you are not alone..just breathe each step of the way xx

  4. Awwww, so pleased you had a lovely time out with hubby today, you both deserve this normality so much. I agree, don't feel pressured into meeting your daughter if you are not ready/well enough. It is time to think about yourself and hubby and your son, really it is. I'm not into tattoos, never have been and never will. Thankfully Bex isn't keen either - nor on piercings...another pet hate of mine. No rushing into anything, baby steps all the way, OK? Have lovely weekend hun. S x x x

  5. Now, listen lovely, organise that breakfast now and then another treat. You both need 'normal' time.

    If you can afford it..a date of complete distraction..a film or a show!

    Just take 1 day at a time.

    Sft x

  6. (((hugs))) just do whatever helps you get through each day, glad that you and hubby got to have a little time out

  7. Glad you had a lovely day you deserve it. Get better and stronger like you said. Take care x



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