Monday, 24 October 2011

So sad & upset

I do not know where to begin. This is not money related.
I have a daughter who  was 14 in August.  I have had nothing but trouble since she was 11 years old. Extreme things from drugs to alchol.  Me & hubby have been treated appalingly by her non stop.
Anyway to cut a long story short she wants a baby & has told me she is trying for one.  Her best friend who looks 12 is pregnant & has a huge brace.  I told my daughter I was not prepared to have her under my roof . Daughter took her self of to relevant services and told  them that I was not prepared to have at home. Daughter has said to me that she is not prepared to live at home if I cannot accept that she wants & is going to have a baby sooner than later.
To say that I am not devestated is understatement. I feel crushed & cannot stop crying. I do not know my daughter anymore. I have had 3 years of non stop trouble. I feel like I have lost my daughter.  Girls at her school are walking round with pregnancy bumps and its like this is the normal thing nowadays.
I wanted the best for her from the moment I was pregnant myself. It feels like my world has crumbled.
     Hubby wants me too let her go as he sees a pattern of her treatment towards me.  It has been physical in the past police have had to take her away in handcuffs as she was very wild.  Its hard to talk about the last 3 years.  They have been hard & very extreme.
Sometimes I think stuff like this does not happen to people like me & my hubby & family. We are normal.  I never had any trouble with daughter before age of 11.  Since she has done very bad extreme things. I am not taking this lightly



  1. I'm so sorry about this. I don't even know what to say. I hope things get better. I'm 22 and I can't even imagine having a child right now because I know that I would not be ready.

  2. You poor thing, look on the web for support groups must talk to others who are going through the same...BIG HUGS FROM ME...AND LOADS OF LOVE...if it helps to post about it, do, and Michelle and others like us will give you support too.

    Sft x

  3. Oh dear hun, I am so sorry to read this. As you know from many of my posts on my blog, we too have not had an easy ride with my 15 year old daughter either. I can only imagine how you are feeling now :( What makes a 14 year old want to have a baby, she is still a baby herself isn't she - I just can't get my head around it. You need to go to your docs to see what support is available for you both. I think your hubby is right, maybe you'll have to cut the apron strings, and leave her be for a while. Perhaps this is just another cry for help/attention from her? Are the school doing anything to assist you/her? Thinking of you my love. Sue x x x x

  4. Oh hun! My hear bleeds for you.

    They are so trying as teenagers and always feel they know best.

    I had all sorts of issues with my oldest and to be fair the social services along with the gp were great. Luckily she never came home pregnant but I feel it was more by luck than judgement. It's so hard to step away, I know that all to well. Plus the feelings of despair and failure are all natural, but it doesn't mean for one minute that you are not a good parent, just that you are being tested more than most. Take some time out and let all parties cool down.

    Sending you so much love, hugs, tissues and chocolate.

    X x

  5. I don't know what to say, just sending you hugs. Take care xx

  6. I know exactly how you feel and what your going through. My Hubby and me went through hell with the eldest. She showed no respect to us, hung around with a bad lot. She got into drugs, trouble with the police and left home at 15 to live with a druggy when he got out of prison.Any attempt to bring her home resulted in her just leaving again. It got to the stage where we could not stand her anymore. I really did not like my daughter for many years.

    Thank god she did not get pregnant. Eventually she sorted herself out. We were always there for her if she wanted the help. Today I have a lovely sensible daughter who found a lovely man and married and has two beautiful children. I never thought in a million years this would ever happen but they do change and they do grow up. To this day it still hurts me remembering the way she treated us, spoke to us and hurt us.

    I don't know what you can do to stop her from getting pregnant. I would try and get some professional help to help you through all of this.

    Take care and a big hug from me to you x

  7. I don't even know where to start... :( Is there a way that you & your husband could go see a family therapist with your daughter? There are obviously some deep-rooted issues going on. I'll keep you in my prayers. (((hugs)))

  8. Try and get some rest...and stay strong need your OH and he needs you. Don't ignore your relationship or other family members in all this. Give yourself a break at some point, even if it is just to recharge your batteries.

    Have been thinking about you alot tonight and love all the comments from parents.

    We are all giving you BIG HUGS.

    Sft x

  9. Like many others I'm not sure what to say. This must be so awful for you and hubby. I would try and get some help/advice from a professional.

    My teenage daughter went through a horrible, horrible stage last year but eventually came around. It did involve me stepping away for a bit (even though it was extremely hard!)

    Sending you big((hugs))xx



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