Thursday 7 March 2013

Where do I start....

 I did not plan to take such a long blog break.  I think I found it hard to write about anything .I just could not see anything positive & rather than just being negative I removed myself  & wallowed  in a lot of negativity & self pity.  Found myself really quite depressed & with a lack of any sort of motivation.  I think its safe to say I have generalized anxiety disorder.  Anxiety that I cannot switch of, its with me quite often & I haven't succeeded in kicking its butt yet!. That mixed in with the blues.  There is a little flicker within within me that is trying to fix things & do the best I can.  I tend to go into a shell & hide away.  I say no to doing things or make excuses as to why I cannot.  I find it easier to hide so people do not see the real me. The one who is up & down. The one who gets emotional easily.  The one who beats herself up mentally and ruminates. Turning the same old stuff over in my mind. The one who feels like a failure. Who views herself as a failure   But I have got to a place now where I know I cannot go on with that continual thinking pattern it is time to
Try & kick some butt!!
To stop the internal negative self talk & to try & start loving myself  ...     
 
Does that make sense?! 
 
 
On a happy note !. I went to the cinema today with my mum & sister to see " Silver Linings Playbook".  We accompanied mum to the senior screen to see this film. It was very sweet & we all loved Bradley Cooper  x (see if you get chance).

7 comments:

  1. Hello Mrs! Nice to hear from you again. I hope you manage to kick some butt and rid yourself of some of the anxiety that is causing you problems. With being depressed too it can all seem like too much to bear but keep chipping away and bit by bit hopefully things may ease.

    Keep popping on here when your down and struggling. You know we're a freindly lot who will help where we can or lend a shoulder to cry on.

    Take care, Karen xx

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  2. It's nice to see you posting again!! :) I hope you'll feel better soon and just blog about anything and everything! Blog readers can be soo very supportive, sometimes I vent as well, there's nothing wrong with asking for support & love! Hugs!!

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  3. Hi and welcome back. I am on a blog break myself at the moment for reasons very similar to your own. Everything is enormous at the moment but like you I have told myself that I cannot do my best if I am not at my best. Thats what I am working on at present. Hope to hear from you soon,. With best wishes MPB x

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  4. Welcome back :) I loved that film too.

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  5. Your Back! Brill... I do hope you are doing ok hun? I know life gets hard and throws you about a bit, but don't let it drag you down too much.

    Huge hugs to you

    X x

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  6. Nice to see you back.

    Glad you enjoyed the film.

    Sft x

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  7. PM me if you fancy a chat about anything xx

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