Where do I start....

 I did not plan to take such a long blog break.  I think I found it hard to write about anything .I just could not see anything positive & rather than just being negative I removed myself  & wallowed  in a lot of negativity & self pity.  Found myself really quite depressed & with a lack of any sort of motivation.  I think its safe to say I have generalized anxiety disorder.  Anxiety that I cannot switch of, its with me quite often & I haven't succeeded in kicking its butt yet!. That mixed in with the blues.  There is a little flicker within within me that is trying to fix things & do the best I can.  I tend to go into a shell & hide away.  I say no to doing things or make excuses as to why I cannot.  I find it easier to hide so people do not see the real me. The one who is up & down. The one who gets emotional easily.  The one who beats herself up mentally and ruminates. Turning the same old stuff over in my mind. The one who feels like a failure. Who views herself as a failure   But I have got to a place now where I know I cannot go on with that continual thinking pattern it is time to

Try & kick some butt!!

To stop the internal negative self talk & to try & start loving myself  ...     

 

Does that make sense?! 

 

 

On a happy note !. I went to the cinema today with my mum & sister to see " Silver Linings Playbook".  We accompanied mum to the senior screen to see this film. It was very sweet & we all loved Bradley Cooper  x (see if you get chance).