Wednesday, 1 February 2012

I went of to my appointment.  It was a case of me talking & opening up about the things that have led me to be at the appointment.  I know its my first appointment & the lady is very nice but it just felt strange. I know it is to early for me to judge & I am sure there is a plan of action to help & one session is only the beginning.  Sometimes I expect miracles! Or want things instantly.
I popped to the doctors yesterday to & asked about there cbt on the nhs. My appointment costs me £12.00 which is everyweek £48.00 a month.  On the nhs I will not need to pay. It would help not to have to pay. When I go to my appointment it is a £4.00 bus return to as it is far to far to walk.  I am just wondering how long the waiting list would be for the nhs. If it is going to months I would have to carefully consider.    

My Monday Week Mini Goals  
  • Do my pilates dvd twice this week (failed last week)
  • Keep spending to a minimum 
  • Pop a few things on ebay
I sold a couple of things on ebay a mens top I bought for £1.00 sold it for £9.99 ( £8.99 profit). I also sold another mens shirt that I bought for £2.00 sold for £5.70 (profit of £3.70)
Total in ebay fund (which is our holiday fund) £44.24. I have listed what I have sold in the Ebay fund tab above. I am glad I can do ebay as it gives me the option to make a few pennies.  I have done this using things I already have & also when I have been at a car boot sale/jumble sale bought things for which I think I can make a profit on.  Sometimes the profit is a few pounds & sometimes it is more.  I would like to look for a few little cleaning jobs.  I am doing a small cleaning job at the moment it is only 3 hours but it pays £10.00 per  hour. The house is so clean & even cleaner now I am there !     

I have started a joint spending diary for Me & Mr No Spend.  Mr No Spends favourite tipple is vodka & cranberry & much to my dismay he smokes(only allowed in the garden where it is nice & cold!).  It is usually no more than 10 a week.  I have tried to get him to give up but I guess he has to be in that place himself.  I guess with darling DD he has needed a vice. I would say or his hair would drop out but it has( well not dropped out! but he is a smooth headed no hair!)DD would make anyones hair drop out. At the moment she has been excluded from school for misbehaving.  Which to be honest I am glad she is not home here at the moment ,as it was repeated stress layering that run me down to the ground.  Even though I know she is misbehaving it is not right under my nose.  I am getting me right.  I do think sometimes that I cannot live her life for her & even though in the past I have tried to protect her from all & sundry. At the end of the day she does what she wants regardless.  Like I say she was an angelic child & I never had one single problem with her all through primary school.  Shocked at what was waiting in the future for us yes.  If I had a crystal ball I would have never have thought all this.  It does go to show you can give someone a loving safe environment, & always be there. But they do change.  Some people will be lucky & maybe escape with a little rebellion & I hope for anyone & everyones sake you have an easier time. One day hopefully DD will grow in to a well ajusted human being. These last 3 years have gone in a blur. Sometimes I think i should write a book!. It will not have the answers though?!. You do what you can the best you can none of us are perfect but we love.

Gosh dont  I go on, I probably have sent you all to sleep ! x x           


  1. I was lucky - I was referred to an NHS psychologist by my cardiac nurse who could see I was heading for an early grave , and that I needed to change. You do need to give it time - there are 3 years of angst to be dealt with , and it probably won't be dealt with quickly. I came away from my first appointment wondering how she was going to be able to help - but she did, and I owe her a huge debt of gratitude. Do you know how long the waiting list is on the NHS?

  2. keep in there,I know that you will feel better even knowing you are doing something..we were lucky and don't know how we got through almost unscathed however my husband was so ill through the 16/23 year gap that anything could have happened and I probably would have just nodded..our son did have some problems but they have resolved with maturity and it will happen with your girl..she would love you dearly deep in her heart and you gave her a wonderful childhood and all those teachings are layered under all the naughtiness,I think it is good she is not at home at the moment..I don't think you need that...ass for Hubby her will give up smoking when he is ready,it ma be his way of dealing with DD. Much love and big hugs from me to you.xx

  3. I'm glad your appointment went well and I shall keep my fingers crossed that you can get it on the nhs.

    I too listed stuff on eBay, a bit of a pain but it did raise me over £100 so well worth it!

    With ref to your daughter it will get better, but I know that doesn't help at the moment. My youngest has been a pain of late. Getting her neck pieced and rebelling I am hoping its just a phase.

    X x

  4. Thinking of you. Keep in there, it will get better but it will take time. Three years of this won't be solved in a few weeks. I hope you can get this on the NHS. Fingers crossed.

    Take care

    Karen x

  5. Glad the ebaying is going well. YOu've made a great start.

    SFT X

  6. I did CBT on the NHS a few years ago and I found it really effective, it's hard because I had to think really hard about things to get to the root of my thinking patterns, but I learned some skills that I still use.



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