I did not plan to take such a long blog break. I think I found it hard to write about anything .I just could not see anything positive & rather than just being negative I removed myself & wallowed in a lot of negativity & self pity. Found myself really quite depressed & with a lack of any sort of motivation. I think its safe to say I have generalized anxiety disorder. Anxiety that I cannot switch of, its with me quite often & I haven't succeeded in kicking its butt yet!. That mixed in with the blues. There is a little flicker within within me that is trying to fix things & do the best I can. I tend to go into a shell & hide away. I say no to doing things or make excuses as to why I cannot. I find it easier to hide so people do not see the real me. The one who is up & down. The one who gets emotional easily. The one who beats herself up mentally and ruminates. Turning the same old stuff over in my mind. The one who feels like a failure. Who views herself as a failure But I have got to a place now where I know I cannot go on with that continual thinking pattern it is time to
Try & kick some butt!!
To stop the internal negative self talk & to try & start loving myself ...
Does that make sense?!